Zaeron has signed up for BBT forums.

You need to sort yourself out at the root cause instead of masking it with drugs. It's good that you're getting help because depression is a hard slope to climb back from. The first step is realizing it, this way you can actually be pro-active and improve your life. No one can do it for you, they can only guide you in the right direction.

I mean, the doctors are trained and will tell you exactly what you can do. It seems like you don't want to be anorexic so try to set a timer on your phone or something 3 times a day for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Force yourself to eat and it'll get easier. One of my ex-girlfriends was anorexic and together we got her out of it. It is possible when you completely focus on it.

Beyond all that, I'd advise saunaing or picking up a physically active hobby. Like running or something.

The perspiration will get a portion of the crud in your system out in a manner that will also be enjoyable. A healthy body leads to a healthy mind.

I can tell you right now your not the only one with depression. The seeds for it were planted half way through my freshman year in HS ...that was back in like 02-03... so about 7-8 years...

anyway... i probably would have been suicidal too..if not for 2 reasons.

1. I think it's probably the most selfish act anyone can do.
Because despite what you might think and feel, there are people who love you and care about you.

and

2. I'm afraid to die.
Yeah its kind of stupid but its a common fear. It's made worse by many factors including me not having an actual religion. It makes things a lot easier when you have faith in there being some kind of after life in some amazing paradise -_-.

regardless though i came up with an alternative option...Enlisting in the military.

anyway i digress.
Here are some tips to help you

# Try to go for a walk every day, walking not only gets you out in the fresh air, which will give you a bit of a lift, but like other forms of exercise it releases endorphins in the brain. These are 'happy' chemicals that rapidly elevate your mood. And there's increasing evidence to suggest that exercise can be as good for combating depression as any antidepressant.

# Even on your worst days, try to spot happy moments like a bird singing or a new flower blooming in your garden. Try to train yourself to notice three of these heart-warming moments per day.

# You may have an odd relationship with food while you're depressed (you could have little appetite or constantly comfort eat), but try to eat five pieces of fruit per day. This is a caring thing to do for yourself and is good for your physical and mental health.

# Listen to music that matters to you.

# Have faith that the depression will pass and that you will enjoy your life again.

as far as you being gay is concerned. just watch the video.